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Joel Osteen takes kid's souls
December 8, 2015 Brandon
Today, our sources told us that Joel Osteen is logging into chat sites, such as Omegel, under the username "Satnizmypal666". From our last article, informing our viewers that Satan has taken a vacation, he still isn't back. Our sources informed us that his secretary, Azazel, has hired Joel Osteen to take the souls of kids who are too young to be on those types of sites. Not only is Osteen on Omegel, etc, he's also on Craigslist, Ebay, etc. He's everywhere on the web, gathering souls for the Prince of Darkness. Osteen has tweeted, that he'll be willing to do some hard labour, such as mowing yards, in order to retrieve people's souls.
We have also interviewed Osteen before. We decided to make a fake Omegel account, and lure Osteen out to chat with us. Someone with the username "Satnizmypal666" entered a chat room with us, and proceeded to ask us random questions, such as did we need him to mow our yard, did we value our souls, etc.
After he asked us many questions, we were able to take a screen shot of our conversation before he realized it was a trap, and logged off. We took a screen shot because we knew no one would believe us, unless we had evidence to support our claim. So, all you parents out there, if your child goes onto Omegel, or any other chat site, and they're chatting with a person with the username "Satnizmypal666", disconnect them immediently. Our hacker was able to track his location from Berlin, Germany, to Moscow, Russia, which makes us believe that he's hiding behind several proxies, so don't attempt to call the police.
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