Happiness causes depression?
Many people suffer from depression, but many don't know why. They go to psychologists who claim they know the answers. Many get anti-depressent pills. Depression is a common problem among our fans, so our scientist, Paul, personally conducted several studies. He used average people, just like you. Each test subject started out cheerful, but as the tests went on, many became moody. Some became depressed, and all thought of suicide. Our scientist informs us that it wasn't because of the lack of food they recieved, or the poor quality of water that they drunk, it was because of an old saying we all know: 'What goes up, must come down'. After his tests were concluded, he wrote out steps that people can take to not be depressed:
1. Don't be happy
2. Hate everything, but don't have everything too much
3. Stay away from adult beverages (unless your friends are going to record you)
4. Stay away from guns all together, even in video games (Sorry depressed Black Ops 3 players)
5. Run marathons daily, to build your character
6. Walk around your neighborhood in a dark jacket at 1 a.m.
7. Don't get behind the wheel of a car, but you can drive a segway or scooter
8. Don't question any of these steps
9. Do them all daily
Our scientist says that if you do all of these steps correctly, and daily, that your depression will go away in a matter of months. He also stated that it's the fastest method there is to fight depression
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